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it is scary to say i fell in love, its fear thats eating at my life, to know i have someone waiting for me to say hello, to speak in the ear of the world, why are you dragging me along, i just want to be safe and alone, to not worry of hurting you with stupid songs, i dont want to write of you and i , because when its just me ill have to breathe and delete them all, youll walk away like they all do, youll laugh in my face and move on too, so breathing was hard after alll, you took my breathe and then shatterd my heart, its fearful to know you care so much, i have no lust for life and there you are, medication drowning me deep inside, what am i worth but just a goodbye, no trigger was found, to knife cut to deep, the rope wasnt long enough, so fuck me, there was nothing in the end to hope for , when all i want to do is be perfect for you, i look in the mirror… and it laughs in my face whispering “sweetie, no even in your sweetest dreams”
who the fuck are you to put me down ? who the fuck are you to shut me out? years of trust flown drown and fucking drain. with lies and truths mistold each miserable day. just let me yawn with your emotions to fucking drown in fucking oceans, who are you to tell me that im not involved. when everything you did i was a part of, i hate you in my dreams and love you in reality , you were my fucking friend, now your just an ash of remembrance so just fucking leave with my hearts pieces, im sure the cord glued on will fall off when your gone and kill fast and end it all.
you open your eyes and its as if your finally living your own life… your not drowning in an abyss of insecurities …. you take a breath and it tastes like your indulging in a first love… youre afraid to takw another step and its fascinating how the world pulls uouand tells you that you are going to be okay, acceptance of being alive, acceptance of smiling without lies… and comprehension of reality at its darkest times.
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Your indulging in the shame of forbidden love because your lust is messing with your mind you crave affection need attention, you need a reminder that your still alive a gasp a sigh, sensation running wild… The body arches and your lips you begin to bite…oh your dear body exhausted in the end… But you gals have all night, the sweet taste of hypocrisy, oh the sweet taste of you still having it, no strings attached just ending your stress, next morning you walk away and breathe once more, tension released , no more sexual frustration… Because your body lost itself in a slow dance between red sheets and the scent of her hair drove you over the edge..scars and marks of love.. Infatuation with her taste… Crave is an understatement to what your feeling…took your bodies an made one soul.. How’d you feel after you once more made love to a secret lust? Nothings better than the smell of danger around the corner of your house…
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screaming your name ; eyes blood shot and pain running vain ; im waking up from my happily ever after ; it was just a wallpaper covering reality around the corner; there was you laughing in my face ; thinking this dumb bitch thought she had me her way ; youre right i did ? i thought you loved me ; guess you just didnt ; so im standing up ; knocking you down ; laughing in your face right about now ; im screaming truths of my pain ; realize that im the wrong bitch to play with ; i seem so weak ; but turn around ; im the devil in disguise ; are you afraid now ? ; im not the girl you seem to found ; shes long gone now ; maybe put back the wallpaper and youll find ashes ; burnt up pieces of her sweet innocence.. that you made disipate ; haha.. hells wining again..
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doctor asked are you okay ? smirks came out and said im good ; i lied through my teeth ; he sensed my pain ; doctors can’t even save me ; im so tierd of the pain ; im so tierd of fighting to be loved by you ; who the fuck are you ? to put me down when im dragging my soul in the dirt… yeah ; im crying blood tears ; shedding sweat of anxiety for love; lusting for your warmth and maybe a hint that you might change ; the fuck am i kidding ? you unreal dumbass ; you did it this time ; first time around i cried days straight ; now ? now im willen to turn the bitch on , coming back hard , i wont break us up this time , youll dump me because its a fact that ill become vicious and dead ; laughing in your fucking face ; good luck finding the sweetest girl you met ; BECAUSE SHES FUCKING DEAD.
shes so beautiful with a smile so bright ; her laughter illuminates my life ; shes makes my days brighter even with gray skys.. shes so perfect in my eyes; i love her soul.. her body makes me have those dreams at night.. i promised her id make her mine ; shes sweet like a flower.. smells sweet like summer … her lips make me weak .. my finger tips get lost in her curves and body … i want to love her forever and more.. she has my heart even after the hell weve been through.. she makes me smile with an i love you.. we fight all day .. and make up at night.. shhh .. its a secret .. yes our love.. forbidden kisses .. forbidden lust… shes my angel.. and id let her wings take us far from this universe of lies and hate.. because shes where i want to be.. in her arms for eternity…
i want to leave the bed with your scent ; because that night i made love to your body once again ; your body screamed my name ; my lips running your every curve and my hands exploring every inch your flaws and perfections ; the sheets tangled while our lips never parted; and our tongues did a slow tango, your fingers caressed my spine and back ; and your nails left beautiful scars that will forever last ; your neck tasted like the sweetest ice cream , and your beautiful breasts just were the cherry ; my tongue roamed all your favorite places ; your sounds were like love birds singing sensations; just the night flew by and your sweat ran down the high way of your temple ; it felt like we were in heaven ; screaming melody’s of pleasure through the sky’s ; and sighs and moans our only lyrics ; but it was pure love making and more ; the night you entered my bed once more…
dont worry i understand, im a worthless piece of shit , its alright i get it , i deserved your fucking lies again , im fine , im not just dying away in fucking pain you created in my life ; nooo you didnt do nothing ; you just tore my life away slowly ; but i understand you had to be yourself; and took all of me with you ; i get that i wasnt beautiful ; i scarred my body trying to perfect the image you wanted; im sorry did i scare you away ? i know that my emotions were to much for you to handle ; oh so she was better in bed with you ? ; its okay you raped me anyways i slept in my bed crying myself away ; oh really you never loved me ? ; its okay ..you left me with nothing anyways…because you took all my love with you away…
the mirror smashed to pieces ; im throwing everything loosing myself ; i wanted to be loved ; its all to well known ; the pain just grows more and more ; i try to be someone that you want ; some extravagant in your life ; ive been through the same pain as you ; our outlets were equal too ; but i try to smile hide the fear ; im just as broken as the mirror ; i want to be held and told its all okay ; yell the fear away ; im scared to get on your last nerve ; the past girl hit me for that before ; soo its just memories haunting me ; and they wont let me be a new me ; because even hiding in a fake happy face ; its all to clear to hide away ; because my smiles crooked ; and it slipped out through the vent the crease left in my lie of a smile…
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